The Grove

Thoughts

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 01:12:27 GMT

There are times when I believe I am better suited to watching the people and things around me instead of participating.

I find people...mortals and immortals alike...fascinating. I enjoy watching the situations that arise in everyday life and seeing how people deal with those situations.

I also enjoy watching people interact with each other. Immortal Sojourns is perfect for that...it allows mortals and immortals to interact with each other in a safe and enjoyable environment. It's fascinating to me.

But that does not mean I do not enjoy interacting. I do. I am making some wonderful friends on the forum and I am so happy for that. I am back with Zenobia and hopefully we will be together with Marius again soon. That would make us both very happy.

I feel I have much to learn in this life, and I think I learn more and grow everyday. Watching and interacting with people helps me do that.

So I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone I interact with on IS, whether they be mortals or immortals. I learn something new...about life, about you and about myself...everyday thanks to all of you, and I truly appreciate your presence in my life.

Failure

Fri, 03 Mar 2006 22:26:16 GMT

I feel like I have failed many people in recent days and I do not like it. I wish I knew how to make it up to my beloved, and whoever else I have let down recently, but alas, I do not know how. I am not sure I can make things better. I can only hope that from now on, things will be different and I will no longer be a burden or a let-down to those I care about.

Actually, scratch that. Things will be different and I will not be a burden or a let-down to those I care about. Rather than just hoping it will be so, I will strive to make it so.

The Past

Tue, 07 Feb 2006 21:46:56 GMT

I do not understand why people have such a habit of harping on the past. What is done, is done. It cannot be undone. It cannot be relived. It cannot be changed. What good does it do to dwell on it?

I am doing my best to let go of the past and not dwell on the things that happened any longer. I must do so, because continuing to think about it and let it bother me was hurting me and hurting Zenobia as well. I cannot let that happen. So the past is no longer important.

But now, Marius confuses me. We all want to be a family again...the way we were before...him, me and Zenobia. Mael too, if he wanted, but he does not. I am very happy that Marius wishes for us to be a family again. But I do not understand why the past needs to be brought up in order to do it.

Would it not be more practical to look to the future and making it a good one for the three of us? That seems to me to be more important than dwelling on the way things used to be. They were good yes, but they can be good again. We can make them good. The three of us.

I do not know. Maybe there is something I am missing.

New Year, Renewed Love

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 00:24:25 GMT

I had found myself alone as the old year left us and the new year began...and as I stood there in the shadows, watching multitudes of lovers and friends kiss in 2006, I made a decision.

I decided in that moment to leave Miami. I had been there for some time, and I quite enjoyed it, but it was not where I wanted to be any longer.

Zenobia leaving me for Mael had hurt me deeply, but I had heard through various sources that they were no longer together. Had I heard earlier that she wished to speak to me, I would have returned much sooner. But I did not hear, and so I stayed away, thinking she wanted nothing to do with me.

Oh! If I had only known how wrong I was!

I returned to Zenobia a mere few days ago, barely daring to hope that she still loved me and still wanted to be with me. But whatever the outcome was to be, I had to see her, I had to know, I could not stay away any longer.

She was sorry...and because I love her with my whole heart and soul, I forgave her instantly. What care I for the pain of past mistakes if her beautiful radiance is by my side in the present and future?

My beautiful, darling Zenobia has not changed. But yet at the same time, she has. She was afraid...concerned...that I would turn her away from me for not being the physically pure woman who left me all that time ago. Her relationship with Santiago had changed her and she was uncertain if I could accept that.

I saw very astutely that she did love Santiago. I cannot blame her for that, for he is a handsome and charming Immortal in his own way. She was treated well by him and I am grateful to him for treating her with such respect and love. But I also saw, through her words and actions, that her love for me was much stronger, and any thought I had of jealousy or unease was instantly laid to rest. I am no longer uncertain as to where her heart lies. It belongs to me and mine to her, and we are together again the way we should be.

Listen to me! I am not often given to rambling like this! We are together again...and I could not be happier! Oh if I had known sooner this would happen...if I had known she still loved me and missed me as much as I missed her...I would not have stayed away so long! I am given to wondering, though, what would have happened had I returned sooner. I do believe Zenobia's relationship with Santiago was something very good for her. She learned and grew as a result of it, and that is never a bad thing. Our own relationship will be different...better and more intimate...as well, and that is most definitely not a bad thing!

I am delighted to say things could not be better. Zenobia and I are hosting a party for all our friends to celebrate my return and the renewal of our love...our relationship. I have barely stopped smiling since I returned, and if it is possible, I feel younger than I have in a very long time!

My dearest, darling Zenobia, words cannot describe how happy I am to be with you again, although I have tried to put it into words here! I love you so much and I will strive to do whatever is necessary to please you and satisfy your wants and needs for as long as you will let me do so.

Time for a Change

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 02:06:38 GMT

It has been quite a long time since I updated, as my time has been occupied elsewhere of late. I believe things will settle down shortly so that I might have the chance to update more frequently. Only time will tell.

I thought perhaps it was time for a change. As such, I have altered the layout and colors of this journal. I think it has a smoother look to it now. Please let me know what you think?

Taken from abelardsophelia

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 22:14:18 GMT

Please show your support.

Santiago

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 23:06:14 GMT

I made a gift for Santiago...

My 2 cents...

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 15:17:54 GMT

Imagine everything that you own and cherish... Your home, your car, the bed you sleep in, your tv, computer, books, everything in your possession... Imagine losing it all tomorrow, not even being able to sleep out of fear of death, seeing your loved ones die, the world you knew crumbling around you. Imagine not being able to eat. There is a flood, but you have no water to drink. The heat is tearing at you and if you jump in the water to cool off you drown in front of your family's eyes.

This is the situation in NOLA. This is what has happened in your own country. Not in the far-off Asian countries, not in Africa, but in America.

There is a way to do something about this. It cannot be undone, but you can help those who are going through that. Their very lives depend on it. There are people alive right now who will die unless they get help.

If you wish to make a contribution, there are several ways of doing this.

* Go donate blood
* If you are religious: pray, light a candle, ...
* Donate money or material goods to:
http://www.nola.com/weblogs/nola/
http://neworleans.craigslist.org/
http://www.nopundit.com/
http://www.nola.com/forums/jefftownhall/index.ssf?page=-1
http://www.wwltv.com/
http://www.redcross.org
*Write a poem, a text, create artwork, ... and visit this page:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/vamp_fiction/25409.html
*Donate your time. Help send goods, volunteer, ...

The tragedy in the states of Mississippi and Louisiana, most particularly the devastation of New Orleans, a place we all have come to cherish and hold close to us, has struck our hearts in a blast of painful realisation. All most of us can do is try to keep the hope alive that we will not let ourselves be destroyed by such a natural disaster. We will not give up! Human beings in particular are a resilient species, they stick together, and those few who would rather not help but aide in the destruction will not win in the end. Louisiana, Mississippi, the United States of American, the victims... They will overcome this!

Tagged by faded_ophelia

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 14:44:03 GMT

*TAG!*

List ten things that make you happy in no particular order.

1. Congenial company
2. Kindness
3. Respect
4. Beauty
5. Immortal Sojourns
6. Blood
7. Zenobia
8. Walking
9. A comfortable environment
10. Acting as a mortal

List 3 things that bug you - things that others may find trivial. Only list 3 things because you can/may be tagged again.

1. G.W. Bush
2. Ignorance
3. Disregarding the needs of others for one's own enrichment

Then tag 5 of your friends.

- my_pointe
- melinda_s
- fatima0513
- vamp_dream
- shamaness04

Chat at Immortal Sojourns

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 00:26:36 GMT

We are holding a chat right now in our chatroom. Feel free to stop by at http://immortalsojourns.com/chat/index.php3

I look forward to seeing you all there!

Expect discussions on Karma, good and evil and Nicolas' hyperactive insanity. *Grins*

Quiz

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 23:45:18 GMT

Your Brain is 40.00% Female, 60.00% Male

You have a total boy brain

Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts

And while your emotions do sway you sometimes...

You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Zenobia

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 22:17:03 GMT

My dearest Zenobia,

I would post here a full-out written tale to prove the love I hold eternally for you, but the words are lacking. The expression lies within my soul, and I cannot draw it out into this virtual world to paint you the perfect picture of my feelings.

I envision the past, how I would take you into countries far and wide, and how your eyes would sparkle with the wonder you beheld all around you. The light of the sun I forfeit forever if I can somehow keep the brilliance of those eyes near me. They captivate me, blind me to everything else.

Yet the beating has fallen silent. You love another, and oh! Weep for me, for you have torn out my heart with that very act. It is none other than one who has always been my best friend in time, and now my world crumbles around me as I see you calling out after him, looking the other way.

Has all hope been evaporated? Will I ever see the love returned to your eyes as I gaze into them, while my arms have ensnared you into their embrace? Please, restore the tear inside of me. Tell me there is hope for us! Do not let what we have die out in the eternity of the night.